Smart Baby Right Brain Development

Archive for the ‘values’ Category

There are two main reasons for parents to make rules for their children. The first is to keep children safe. The second is to help children learn self-control.

Your baby needs to know that she can depend on you to set limits for safety and guidance. Use these guidelines when you set limits for your baby:

Make rules that develop the self-esteem and dignity of your baby. Don’t have rules that make her feel bad about herself. For example, when she’s trying to say a new word and mispronounces it, say the word correctly. Don’t scold, mock, or repeat the “baby” word.

Make rules that are clear to your baby. Your baby needs to be told the rule, again and again. For example, you don’t want your baby to pull your hair. If she pulls it again after you told her that it hurts, simply put her down. Say, “I can’t hold you when you pull my hair. I won’t let you hurt me.”

Make rules that you can enforce. Avoid threats like “If you splash, I’ll never let you play in water again.” Instead, state clearly that you expect the water to stay in the sink while your baby pours from cup to cup. If she splashes the water, restate the rule and tell her that her water play is over for the day.

Enforce rules consistently. Your baby needs to learn that rules are important to her safety and that they don’t change from day to day. For example, you have a rule that your baby always rides in a car safety seat. This rule should be the same in all cars, no matter who is driving. If you bend the rule once, she will test it again and again.

Childproof your home so it is a safe place for your baby to play and explore. You’ll spend less time making and enforcing rules.

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Parents don’t aware that spanking actually effect on a child’s behavior in the long run. Basically it stop bad behaviour happening in front of parents. Soon your child will become experts not to be caught. There develop to following rules only avoid punishment not learning the value of it to be right and wrong. choose good from bad. Spanking also exposed the child to violent. When they see it is permissivable to hit other. When the parents use authority, bigger and stronger inflit pain and fear in the child. Definately no positive conseqeuences results from spanking. Spanking always is a short cut way used by parents.

It is best for child to concentrate on specific and good behaviour.

Decide the specific behavior you would like to change
Do not tell the child to be neat but tell her to pick up her toys before watch TV.

Praise your child for good behaviour
Do not praise the child but praise what she is doing. Not focus ” you are good girl for sitting down” say,”It’s good you are sitting down” Focus your praise or disapproval on your child behavour.

Praise as long the new behaviour need support
Reinfoece the good behaviour, it will motivates your child to continue to bahave well.

Keep an eye
Parents pay close attention to their child so that many behaviour problem will not go unnotice and uncorrect.

Keep history away
What done is done ?Reminding your child of their error only reminds them what not to do, it does not show them what to do. Constant reminder will increase likelyhood of more bad behaviour.

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Handling children can be a difficult task at times. We feel like
they’re not listening to us; they feel like we’re not listening
to them. Good listening and speaking skills are essential to
successful parenting. Your child’s feelings, views and opinions
have worth, and you should make sure you take the time to sit
down, listen openly, and discuss them honestly at a noise level
you both can tolerate.

It’s a natural tendency to react at 100 decibels (shout level)
rather than to respond at 65 decibels (normal hearing level). An
elevated voice level accomplishes nothing except to raise
tempers and frustration.

What causes this emotional elevation? Many factors are in play
to make what could be a positive experience into a gut wrenching
one. We all bring our own childhood baggage into our adult life
and, often, our children bear the brunt.

It’s natural to pass judgment based on our own feelings and
experiences based on our own upbringing. However, communication
is about forgetting our past and being receptive to our child’s
feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves
openly and honestly without fear of glass-shattering screaming
from us. By reacting emotionally, we send our child the message
that their feelings and opinions are invalid. But, by calmly
asking questions about why the child feels the way they do, it
opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings
further, and allows you a better understanding of where they’re
coming from.

Getting your child to open up will give you an opportunity to
work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that
perhaps they would not have thought of their own. Your child
will begin to believe that you do understand and truly care how
they feel.

It’s crucial in these situations to give your child your full
and undivided attention. Put down your newspaper, stop doing
dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full
situation and make eye contact with your child. Keep calm, be
inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the
problem. When offering solutions, allow your child to comment on
them. Allowing them to comment will further the dialog between
you and help to arrive at a workable compromise.

Compromising is the toughest part of parenting because it forces
us to give some weight to our child’s opinion. Remember, your
child may lack the knowledge to form an accurate opinion but
they will cling to what they believe is the right thing for
them. It’s your job to persuade them, with a logical argument,
not with a dictatorial statement.

During this process don’t discourage your child from feeling
upset, angry, or frustrated. Our initial instinct may be to say
or do something to steer our child away from their position, but
this can be a detrimental tactic if done emotionally. Again,
listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are
feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to
alleviate the bad feeling. The key is to remain calm and not
allow yourself to also become upset, angry, or frustrated. You
must be the leveling force.

To our children, their negative experiences or feelings are like
huge mountains to overcome. We may see their problems as
molehills but, to our child, they are far from it. You can be
their guide to climbing their mountain by actively listening and
participating with our child as they talk about it. Showing them
the right path demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to
help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can
draw from.

Remember - respond - don’t react the next time you need to help
your child climb a mountain.

Jim DeSantis

About the author:

Jim DeSantis is a retired broadcast journalist who writes for On Line Tribune Family Life blog and who edits Easy Fat Loss Videos website.

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Find your style of parenting

There are many ideas about how to rear children. Some parents adopt the ideas their own parents used. Others get advice from friends. Some read books about parenting. Others take classes offered in the community. No one has all the answers. However, psychologists and other social scientists now know what parenting practices are most effective and are more likely to lead to positive outcomes for children.

Ideas about child rearing can be grouped into three styles. These are different ways of deciding who is responsible for what in a family.

Authoritarian

Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.

Authoritarian parents don’t explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, “Because I said so.” Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.

Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.

Permissive

Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don’t want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children’s behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.

Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child’s behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.

Democratic or authoritative

Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children’s behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, “try to catch their children being good” and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.

For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, “Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged.” As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: “Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?”

Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child’s ability. For a toddler, the choice may be “red shirt or striped shirt?” For an older child, the choice might be “apple, orange or banana?” Parents guide children’s behavior by teaching, not punishing. “You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We’re putting your truck away until you can play with it safely.”

The question is where you fit in, maybe you are somewhere in between. Think about what you want your children to learn. Research on children’s development shows that the most positive outcomes for children occur when parents use democratic styles. Children with permissive parents tend to be aggressive and act out, while children with authoritarian parents tend to be compliant and submissive and have low self-esteem.

No parenting style will work unless you build a loving bond with your child. How you are going to introduce right brain learning enviroment ? Without love It is virtually imposible to tap the untap because of expectation or the perceive outcome by the parents how he /or she should behave and respond in given situation. Do you want a thinking child or a robot child ?

Parenting tips

• Treat your child with respect. Talk to her and ask questions. Be polite. Avoid nagging, yelling and hitting. If your child misbehaves in public, take her home. Avoid humiliating her. Maybe she is tired or hungry. Next time, plan the outing after she has had a nap and a snack.
• Be consistent. Don’t be permissive one moment and strict the next. Make sure rules apply to everyone, even you. Make promises only when you’re sure you can keep them.
• As parents, consult with each other and maintain a united front so that your child will not try to “play off” one parent against the other.
• Encourage your child. Help build confidence. Say, “I know you can do it.” Tell her, “You worked really hard on that.” Avoid criticism. Don’t compare one child to another.
• Express love. Say the words: “I love you.” Give pats, hugs, and kisses. IMPORTANT
• Take time for fun. Do things you both enjoy.

Remember “HALT” STOP RIGHT NOW !

Feeling mad or cranky? Afraid you might hurt your baby or do something rash? Whenever you feel out of sorts, think, “HALT.”

• Hungry—Have you missed breakfast? Is it mealtime, but you’re running late? Stop what you’re doing. Eat something—an apple, a sandwich or the meal you have prepared.
• Angry—Are you angry about something? Stop what you’re doing. Think back to what made you angry. Maybe the car broke down. Maybe someone hurt your feelings. Accept your angry feelings, but don’t act them out. Count to 10. Take a few deep breaths. Your angry feelings will pass, and things will get better.
• Lonely—Are you lonely? Do you feel you spend all your time with your baby and few grown-ups? Stop what you’re doing. Call a friend. Take your baby and visit a neighbor. Be with people who care about you.
• Tired—Are you tired? Maybe you didn’t sleep well last night. Maybe you have worked hard all day. Stop what you’re doing. Put your baby in the crib or another safe place. Sit with your feet up and relax for a few minutes. Or forget about chores and go to bed early.

Thinking “HALT” can often pinpoint what’s wrong. It can prevent you from doing something you will regret later. It reminds you to take care of yourself and do what is best for your baby.

Let us build and not destroy when we have the power to choose. The impact will be for life, create good value for our next generation.

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